Skip to main content

I Hate Bastadroids.

Should have listened to the wife. "Buy an iPad" she says. "No", says I, "Androids are more popular so why spend £600 on an iJobs that's incompatible with the rest of the world when I can spend £150 on a tablet that's faster and does everything any iJobs can do - and it's part of Google not Jobble".

Big mistake! (But don't tell her)

We'd already experimented with a Samsung Galaxy Android phone and gave up trying to sync it with Outlook (let alone get it to dial a phone number). Everything seemed deliberately hidden behind fiddly little pictures and horrible little icons that suggested nothing. Swiping and clicking and dragging and tossing in the air and shaking it and using a combination of feet, hands and shouting at it to see if there was some hidden control to make it do things I thought it might, drove us mad. We sent it back to Vodafone and paid over the top, again, for another iJobs.

But I wasn't going to be sucked into an iPad. Oh no, I was going to wait for an Ice-cream Sandwich or Fruit Salad or whatever the latest Android bollocks was called, on a Nexus, Fire HD, or perhaps something called an Ainol from Amazon - The fastest, cheapest and best reviewed 7" tablet!

You guessed. I had to own a tablet called an Ainol. It arrived yesterday. It only took 24 hours for me to hate it with all my heart and soul. Here are a few of the reasons it is so loathsome:

  • Unlike an iJobs, nothing is obvious. Stuff just disappears and then re-appears for no apparent reason. Finding your way around it is like trying to remove your own appendix in the dark using a spoon and an axe - only more painful.
  • I downloaded Kindle for Android. It worked! I can see most of the books I 'rent' from Amabezos. I bought a copy of The Week (my favourite mag). I can see it on my iPhone, but it doesn't appear on my Bastadroid. Message to Kindle Support: "Why...". Instant (!) reply telling me that not everything on Kindle works on Androids. It's down to each publisher to decide which device to support. They don't tell you this when you buy, sorry rent, the item.
  • I download Google Movie Player. I buy a movie from Google Play Store. See, Google, Google, Google on a Google powered device. I try to play said movie. "Can't fetch license (error 43)". What fucking license?? I GOOGLE the error message to discover I'm "rooting", whatever the fuck that is, and Google now prevent movies you buy on their store from being played on devices that "root". I don't want to fucking "root" (well not with my Bastadroid, anyway). So I send a "help" email from the Bastadroid... and then tried to see my email from the thing...
  • Only to discover that it doesn't want to connect to my email Exchange server and gives me some other fucking unintelligible error message about something to do with certificates.
Given up. Off to Gatwick for half-term. Going to buy an iJobs at the airport. Bet it goes horribly right.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Phillips screws - yes I'm angry about them too

Don't get me wrong. They're a brilliant invention to assist automation and prevent screwdrivers from slipping off screw heads - damaging furniture, paintwork and fingers in the process. Interestingly they weren't invented by Mr Phillips at all, but by a John P Thompson who sold Mr P the idea after failing to commercialise it. Mr P, on the otherhand, quickly succeeded where Mr T had failed. Incredible isn't it. You don't just need a good idea, you need a great salesman and, more importantly, perfect timing to make a success out of something new. Actually, it would seem, he did two clever things (apart from buying the rights). He gave the invention to GM to trial. No-brainer #1. After it was adopted by the great GM, instead of trying to become their sole supplier of Phillips screws, he sold licenses to every other screw manufacturer in the world. A little of a lot is worth a great deal more than a lot of a little + vulnerability (watch out Apple!).

My gromble is abou…

Introducing Product Relationship Management - it's what customers want.

Most businesses these days have Customer Relationship Management (CRM) systems which store and process vasts amounts of information about us. They use this information to generate communications, amongst other things, which target us to buy their products and services. CRM is all about how a business relates to its customers: Past (keeping them loyal through aftersales and service), Present (helping them buy through bricks and clicks channels) and Future (prospecting).

Most businesses will at some stage have declared themselves 'customer-centric'. They will probably have drawn diagrams on whiteboards that look something like these:



But there's a problem with this whole approach of keeping the customer at the centre of your world and the focal point for everything you do.Is it what the customer wants? Of course companies who ignore their customers eventually go out of business. And those who treat their customers well, tend to thrive. But is it really in the best interests …

The Titus Trust Deceives British Parents to Brainwash their Kids

I have a son who went to a well known preparatory school (7-13) in Surrey. He came home one day clutching a leaflet for fun activity holidays that the school promoted every summer. The Titus Trust operate several camps around the UK where they organise fun outdoor activities for youngsters. Something caught my eye in the leaflet hidden in a paragraph in one of the sections describing the holidays. They used the word Christian. It was the only place in the whole leaflet that the word was used. My suspicions raised, I hunted around the leaflet for more clues and found the imprint which said something like 'A Titus Trust Charity' (the name of the camps was on the title of the leaflet). I dug deeper and found some disturbing evidence of who was behind these 'fun' camps. This is what I wrote at the time to the headmaster:
Dear Headmaster

XXXX came home the other day extremely excited about an outward bound camp next summer that he and his friends had been told about by a rep…