Having reached what is generally regarded as old age, it's getting increasingly difficult to find the right words. It's not because I don't know what to say, the trouble is finding the right words to express those thoughts when I know they exist. My vocabulary is becoming more elusive (I knew I wanted a word to express the concept of 'hidden' and that a word existed which suggested it wanted to hide, but the word 'elusive' took me a second or two to recall).
I have three theories why this is the case (and by the time I've written about two of them, I will probably have forgotten the third).
Theory number one is that we are bored by what we're trying to say. When we are younger, it was important that we were not only heard but that we impressed ourselves with what we were saying (or writing). Now I don't really care whether what I say makes sense, is interesting, or impresses. My brain is saying "why are you bothering to say this?"
The second theory is that I've acquired far too many words over my lifetime. Seventy years of listening, reading and thinking has amassed vastly more words than I'll ever need... and possibly in many languages. As I age, the majority of those words become decreasingly likely to ever be used. So my brain parks them somewhere. Again it's down to priorities. My brain is saying "make your mind up! Do you want fast access to all those words you never use, or can I focus on keeping you alive in other ways|?".
And finally (phew), my brain is becoming increasingly fucked up either through the early stages of dementia of some kind (how cruel for that word to also have such an ironic alternative meaning... dementia is anything but kind), or it's just naturally rotting.
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