70 YEARS YOUNG
At last my hubby’s seventy – though hard for us to see,
He went bald at forty, yet he’s aged so gracefully.
Less Jerrer’s the Rave, more Jerry the Mellow, what will the future bring,
He might stop shouting at his screen or even start to sing!
The youthful signs keep showing, they’re honestly quite clear:
He dresses smart in Loakes, and splashes cash around with cheer.
The biking leathers are long gone, now it’s Gant and Charles Trywhitt—
Yet once a year as Elvis, he still looks quite the tit!
He’s been a tech adopter, plugged in right from the start—
On TikTok, X, and Facebook, a true social-media tart.
He podcasts, doomscrolls, and watches documentaries all year
And now walks around the house with speakers permanently in his ear.
He’s always been a twitcher; he can identify all their calls,
And he forages for mushrooms – from penny buns to giant puffballs,
We’ve had them in risottos, pastas, sliced and fried on bread,
Although when following Heston Blumenthal he almost wound up dead.
He claims he doesn’t drink much, yet Grappa is his pride,
With Guinness, wine, and whiskey often sitting by his side.
A cheeky cider, IPA—he’ll sip them just the same,
And thanks to Sky Sports now, he’s glued to every game.
And when it comes to rugby, his passion never thins,
His heart is always loyal to the mighty Harlequins.
Through triumphs and disasters, he’ll cheer them loud and strong
For Jerry and his Quins the bond will always be lifelong.
His DIY’s notorious, “legendary” some might say—
Sean’s flat is full of holes and still hasn’t sold today.
Our shelves are far from sturdy, beware a tumbling row,
And even flatpack furniture can fill him full of woe.
But worst of all are water leaks—they haunt him night and day,
With plumbers on the speed-dial and buckets in the way.
So if you’d like to give him joy and make his birthday great,
Tell your kids to skip uni and become a plumber’s mate!
Snotbucket will soon have company—three Snotties came before,
And Grandpa’s grown less grumpy than he was in days of yore.
He builds Lego for hours, and reads The Tiger Who Came to Tea,
And hums along with Bluey and Miss Rachel on CBeebies.
A loyal husband, father, brother, uncle, son and friend
His kindness and his humour seem to never find an end.
So raise a glass to Jerry, for seventy years well-blessed
If seventy’s the new fifty, let’s all enjoy the rest!
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